In other news, I’ve been a bit addicted to pinterest for a while now. I know it’s the hottest thing in blogland, but I figured a number of you probably aren’t familiar with it. Pinterest is a virtual pinboard where you can “pin” posts from all over the web via an image. It’s kind of like magazine clipping, only better and with a social side to it as well.

It’s great for visual types like myself. You can create different boards, move them around, follow what others are pinning, repin things, etc. It’s a great way for filing away information you find on the web that usually gets lost in your brain or in your bookmarks. Sorta Crunchy has a wonderful post explaining how to use it if you’re interested. I personally use it mostly for filing away DIY projects, crafts/sewing and ideas for children’s activities and spaces. You can find my boards here if you’d like to have a look. You can also click on the nifty icon at the top of the righthand sidebar if you’d like to follow me.

Pinterest is by invitation, but you can also sign up without, just takes a bit longer. Let me know if any of you would like an invite!

So what do you think about Pinterest? Do you use it?

manneken pis - Brussels

Happy New Year everyone. We’re just back from visiting with family and I had a scan today. Sprout n.2 is a boy! I didn’t really mind either way. They’re all individuals with their own personalities, gender is just one factor. That said, I WILL miss not getting to shop for/make some of the pretty girl stuff. Then again, I suppose I won’t have to deal with all the princesses and a certain, very pink ubiquitous kitty!

Anyway, we’re all happy. But I live the way Sprout keeps saying “I like boys AND girls, so it’s ok if it’s a boy. It’s ok if it’s a girl too.” Ok, maybe his version of the sentence wasn’t so well constructed, but this is the gist of it I also love the running commentary and emabarrassing interesting questions and comments. Like at the doctor’s office today, when I told him I was going to the bathroom, I love how he said in his loudest possible voice “to do pee-pee in a cup mama?”. Only paralleled by our joint trips to public bathrooms where he coaches me with a “You can do it Mama! There you go, you did it!” (positive reinforcement anyone?).

I have finally found my 2nd trimester energy! Let me tell you, being pregnant with nb 2 while being a full-time mom to nb 1 is MUCH harder!! I don’t really get morning sickness and such, but OMG the fatigue during the first trimester… With Sprout it was not much of an issue, I’d just fall asleep on the sofa soon as I got home from work. Who cares if dinner is ready? Actually, R would make it most of the time, waking me up to eat So sweet. But with a 2,5 year-old? I can’t collapse at 6pm. Or sleep in. So, I ended up doing what I (sort of) did when he was a newborn: sleep when he does. So, basically, I’ve been hibernating through Autumn. Add to that a trip to NYC to visit my sis and family, let’s say these last 3 months seem like a bit of a haze!

Now, I’m ready for nesting. And I guess I should probably try to fit in some exercise too? Maybe some blogging?

Well, technically this is still considered a post per week, right? Oh, I’ve just been soooo tired, but all is well.

I was in full swing to post Sprout’s room today, but alas the camera Gods are against me! I got out our actual camera (as in NOT my Iphone) and after a couple of shots the battery died. Or the camera died, not sure. So, that must wait. Instead, here’s a crappy phone picture of my latest project that is seeming to be called “mama is dolly ready yet”, which is what I keep hearing from Sprout. He was so enthusiastic about it, he was playing with him (it’s going to be a boy) when he was just a head and detatched arms… kind of creepy actually

This is my first attempt at making a doll. This particular kind of doll is Waldorf inspired, with soft, neutral features and all natural materials. It’s not so hard so far and took less than a week to (very calmly) put together up to this point. And then I froze. It’s been in this baldheaded unclothed state for nearly 3 weeks now I think. Part is due to sheer exhaustion on my part, but the biggest part is due to my fear of sewing on “boy’s” hair. I keep thinking of the botched mess I made of Sprout’s hair the second (and last) time I tried to cut it. Not nice. But hey, it would grow back. And it did. And then I took him to the hairdresser. I wonder what she would think if I showed up with a cloth doll with 100% wool hair. Ha!

Anyway, all that’s missing is hair and some clothes. It’s 100% cotton knit, filled with 100% wool stuffing. The body was stitched up by machine, but everything else was hand sewn. I’ve really been enjoying the process and can see myself making more in the future (if only supplies weren’t so pricey!). I’ve followed the pattern and instructions from one of my new favourite books, Growing up Sew Liberated. So many projects in there I want to try. I have another waldorf doll making book I’ve had for ages, but I really feel the pictures helped guide me through my first attempt.I think the pattern is good (I would personally change some things like the arms – the Making Waldorf Dolls book has a different construction method I think would have preferred, plus these seem a bit too long compared to the legs), but the step by step instructions are truly excellent.

And I can’t talk about making my little boy a doll without touching on the whole gender stereotyping through toys thing even though there are tons of posts out there very well written with which I entirely agree (I’ll add them in here if I find them again). Sprout is now 2.5 years old. He loves lots of typically “boyish” things without our ever pushing anything. However, he loves more typically “girl stuff” as well. He likes strollers. And play kitchens. And doll houses. And so many other role-playing toys and games. Why are these things almost exclusively marketed towards girls? And why does almost everybody who buys him a gift think it has to be some sort of vehicle or sports toy? He loves them, mind you. But just as much as he loves other gender neutral or even more stereotypically “girly” toys. Or books, which I do believe are his favourite. It’s amazing how much and how early we teach our children the roles they belong in. Sprout loves cooking, so of course everyone in our family says he’s going to be a chef. What if he was a girl. Would they say that? Or would cooking just be considered matter of fact? Or maybe he would be a cook? And don’t even get me started on pink. Pink = girl apparently. God forbid a boy has anything pink, no matter how obvious it is he’s a boy, everyone will refer to him as being a girl. They just assume, despite pink actually being a boy colour before the World Wars and baby blue being for girls. All this to say, it’s good to stop and think what messages we’re subconsciously (or sometimes not so much) transmitting to our children. Up until the age of six, boys and girls are attracted to pretty much the same toys if given the chance, even though they may play with them differently. It’s usually our reactions to their play that sway them one way or another so deeply and so early in life.

How do you feel about dolls for boys?

A lot has been going on, mostly everyday stuff, lots of travelling, reading, making things, being out in nature, with friends. But that’s not why I’ve been gone. I got to thinking about this space here. Why I write. What I should share (or not share), etc.

I’m an avid blog reader. I can say many blogs have had quite an impact on the way I do life at the moment, a great source of information and inspiration. I love how I can get a glimpse into like-minded people’s lives, get ideas, find inspiration. I love that so many people share so much of their personal lives and I would very much like to pass on whatever I do that may do the same for others. However, as Sprout grows, the issue of his privacy is always in the back of my mind. It was such a deal before he was born, for sure. And while he was a baby, well, it still didn’t seem like a big deal. But the baby isn’t really a baby anymore is he. He’s a big boy, says so himself. So I feel I have to respect his privacy. And not only that. As he ventures more and more into the big world, I sort of feel it’s a matter of safety as well. So many weirdos out there, do I really want to share so much about my son? In the early days, I didn’t even think about sharing is real name, calling him sprout. But when someone referred to his name in the comments, I kind of dropped the idea.

So what do I do? Basically I haven’t been writing at all. But I keep receiving emails and site stats from all these people who come on here every week looking for information of some sort or just checking in. Plus, I like a place where I can write, share my thoughts on things, share projects, etc. So, I’ve decided to pick up this little blog again and dust it off. I’m going to commit to writing at least once a week, even if I don’t do pictures on my post. Some things will change though. I won’t be using Sprout’s real name. I’m still not 100% decided on pictures, but will definitely try avoiding showing his face.

So, that’s it really. I’m back. And I hope people will be reading, and maybe even commenting. The first thing I’m dying to post about is his big boy room. I just have to try getting good pictures because the ones I took before are all blurry (I blame using my phone camera, but whatever).

We enjoy reading in our home. I have all sorts of reading material scattered throughout the house (no, I’m not messy, ahem, I just like to be able to pick something up to read no matter where I am) and R reads a lot mostly on his commutes. In fact this what you can see from where I’m sitting right now:

There are even books on the stairs! So it’s no surprise the Sprout has a ton of books already, cleverly scattered throughout the house as well. Books by the potty, check. Books by the bed, check. In the family room, check. Upstairs, check. Yep, he can pick up one of his books pretty much anywhere in the house, bathroom included (hey, it has really helped with learning to use the potty!). Needless to say, since we ARE a multilingual family, living in a multilingual community, we have books in more than one language. We have some in English, Portuguese, Spanish and French. The same goes for Sprout (except Spanish).

I have recently finished reading the Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease and I highly recommend it to any parent. We’ve always read aloud to Sprout, since he was a newborn and most of our family thought we were nuts, so this book is really preaching to the choir. I did know about the benefits of reading aloud to young children, although we did it mostly for fun and bonding, however this book has such a wealth of information on how important reading aloud really is, how to go about it and great suggestions for read-alouds by age and even topic. I think this is truly a must have book. The book points out something we already knew, although not totally aware of how much – the contribution of reading aloud to language acquisition. I realise Sprout has a wonderful comprehension of even some difficult vocabulary thanks in a big degree to reading.

Although this book doesn’t really address reading for multilinguals (though it does make a brief reference to reading and English as a second language), this book really got me thinking on reading and multilingual language acquisition, as well as using books to better understand different cultures.

Sprout is bilingual from birth, and as you may have read here before, we use the one parent, one language approach while speaking Portuguese to each other (parents that is). We tend to do the same thing with books. I read the English books and R reads the Portuguese books. Easy peasy. Except, what do you do when your little one asks you to read a book in the other parent’s language? Up until now, it’s been fairly easy – we grab any book and translate freely as we read. But as he starts enjoying stories with more words, rhymes and poems, it’s beginning to get a bit harder. For the most part we still translate freely, but there are a few (mostly in English) like Mother Goose where Papa Sprout will say it’s a book for Mama to read. I wonder how others handle this, especially as they get older. I suppose it will get easier for him to understand that Mama reads certain books and Papa reads others. Part of the issue though is the difficulty to get good books in Portuguese here. Most of his books are in English because it’s so easy (and fairly cheap) to buy them online or at Waterstones, Stonemanor, etc. and to borrow them from the Children’s Library. Much harder for Portuguese and no library I know of. Plus, I am more familiar with English language books for kids and usually will prefer the original language. I have seen some families that have the same book in 2 (or even more ) languages, but the penny pincher in me has a hard time wrapping her head around that idea. Plus, does it make that much sense before he can actually read?

Another issue is books in French. Who shall read them before he can? We have a few and make frequent visits to our local library, but then we just translate them to our language. It’s a pity, because it’s very hard to do with books with more words and jargon we’re not so familiar with (not that it’s very hard to make out in children’s books though, but still I have come across a couple – and the rhymes are totally off).What we’ve just recently started doing is going to story time in French so Sprout has more exposure to the French language. Our local library has readings for the over 3 crowd only, but our local ONE has readings for the 0-3 crowd once a month. Not very much, I know! We went once, and although Sprout was more interested in the play kitchen they had, at least he only heard French around him. This week I have also discovered one of my favourite French bookshops in Brussels, Filigranes (they have a small English section too) has weekly readings Sunday mornings at 10.30. We went today and it was perfect! The reader was much better than the one from ONE, the bookshop is lovely to be in and has a wonderful little café and Sprout actually sat through most of it – until he had to go wee And of course, we couldn’t leave without adding this fantastic book to our library (Le grand livre des mots français/anglais by Richard Scarry – I had actually been looking for it in English, this is even better! Score!):

I’d love to hear how you handle reading and multilingualism! Please feel free to share in the comments!

Yes I’m Still Breastfeeding Infant/Toddler Tee T-shirt, originally uploaded by Paper Mama.

Ok, I’m going to get really personal here and vulnerable here, but I believe there are others out there who may feel similarly. Plus, maybe if I get it off my chest and on the screen I could better decide what to do and how to do it. And hey, maybe someone out there will hear me and maybe have some advice. But please, do be kind! I’ve read nasty discussions on this topic on other places and I’d really like to avoid that here.

I still breastfeed the Sprout at almost age 2. The majority of people around me think this is absolutely ridiculous, and he should be over it by now. Less than a handful of people I know genuinely think it’s good to continue and it’s the best for him. Add to this all his issues with food – meaning he really isn’t keen on food in general and absolutely won’t have even a taste of some things – and people always blame the breastfeeding.

The issue I’m struggling with here is really how do I feel about it in the middle of all this? I’m not quite sure. I always knew I wanted to breastfeed, despite all the struggles in the beginning, and all the advice for me to just give up and give formula, I was brave enough to say screw it and go with my gut. It was really hard to this the first 5 weeks, but then it was oh so perfect. However I never really thought for how long I’d want to breastfeed. While I was pregnant, and with all the information I read, I figured around 6 months. I figured that’s what they say you’re supposed to do, right? Then he was born, we struggled, I gathered information and then thought, well, at least a year. Then I read some more and figured he would breastfeed for as long as we were both happy (with the emphasis on his happiness though). Fast forward to now. Until very recently, he would have a feed before nap, before sleeping at night, during the night inconsistently and in the morning. But now Sprout is constantly asking to breastfeed, especially since he learned the word mek (milk). At any random time, sometimes right after he had a feed. On good days, I usually say yes whenever he wants to, at least I do if we’re home. On bad days, I really resent it and we both end up unhappy because he wants to feed and I try to put him off. I especially resent it when we’re out and he wants to feed anywhere in public. Now, I’m trying to figure out if I’m truly not happy with him breastfeeding, or if I feel this way because of what I think others are thinking. This really bothers me. I really shouldn’t care what others think – it should not be a factor. But at the same time, I kind of feel like I want my body back, like I’m ready for this phase to reach an end. Would it actually be better for Sprout? Would he eat/sleep better? Could I then have some more time to myself? There’s just no way of knowing the answer to that. What if I do wean him, and he has a hard time and I feel like I should have continued? Why is it so strange to breastfeed a toddler in our society. It used to be normal. What if the weaning process is traumatic for him? But then again, what if he never really wants to stop breastfeeding on his own (ok, maybe never is unrealistic… I doubt he’d be a breastfeeding teenager…)? There are just so many questions, but I keep thinking, if I’m not happy with him wanting to breastfeed ALL THE TIME, is it maybe really time to stop? Is it more harmful to him if he feels my resentfulness when I feed him? What would be the best way to start weaning.

Then I think, the attachment parenting etc movements, which are very much in line with how I parent, would think I’m just awful for not following the child on this. Are they right? Is this just another form of peer pressure as well? Or would I be an awful parent if I imposed weaning, even partial weaning, on him?

Well, no answers I guess, only questions. Let’s see. I may start weaning him, just keeping a couple of feeds. Maybe try to dissociate breastfeeding with sleeping – although it’s so much easier to breastfeed before putting him to sleep. He’s much calmer that way, but then he expects me to breastfeed every time he wakes up – which is A LOT – and I’m oh so tired from lack of sleep. I don’t know… At the same time it feels like it’s such a natural thing and make him oh so happy.

Anyway, what this post is really supposed to be about is music. Music and children, really. Now, let me go back to my own childhood experience with music – it was really not very good. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always LOVED music. I always remember singing and wanting to play music, listen to music. I would say my life has a soundtrack and I could link specific events to certain songs. However, I couldn’t sing in tune and was actually rejected for school choir sometime around 1st grade. I wanted to learn an instrument (which was free as an afterschool programme) but my parents wouldn’t allow it because, as they said, I wasn’t going to play the violin for a living when I grew up (you have to understand they were hard-working immigrants with only primary instruction and big dreams for their daughters) – it would only take away from more important things like studying. My husband on the other hand did have formal music instruction, but was always told how bad he was.

With a son of my own now, I am determined not to impose my own dreams on him or my preconceptions of whether or not he has talent in any given field. I do, however, want to expose him to the beautiful and joyful things in life: music, art, nature, movement, etc. Despite all my hang ups, music is a big part of my life, and so a part of his as well. We’ve always sung at home, listened to many types of music (I try to keep it upbeat though and haven’t really introduced him to a lot of music I love – don’t know if I should, but it just doesn’t seem age appropriate). We have instruments in the house for Sprout – mostly percussion – and Papa Sprout is back into the guitar.I try to stick to real instruments, but grandparents and others have offered some electronic music toys as well and though they are not my taste, he seems to enjoy them as well and so I put them in the music basket in our living room. He also has some playsilks which he loves to run around with when listening to music and dancing.

For quite a long time, other moms have told me about their babies attending music classes and, quite frankly, I thought a) I DO NOT want to enroll my baby in anything class-like – he is too young to have planned activities, needs mostly free play, and b) it is expensive and I’m sure not really worth it – I’m probably doing these things at home with him anyway.

But then, I kept hearing/reading such good things about this Music Together^® programme and decided to give it a try this year through Ding Dong Music. We love it! I was sooo wrong. It’s not cheap, but it is soooo worth it. At the beginning of each term we get a package with 2 cds with class music and activities, a beautiful songbook with illustrations and activities, a DVD & booklet with tips on helping children grow musically, and lots of emails from the Director/Teacher Mariëtte Jansen with information on children’s musical development. Mariëtte is really sweet and the children love her. Alex was absolutely fascinated by her in the beginning and would just stare at her in awe in the first weeks! I must say, she does have a beautiful voice, and just look at her cv! Wow. Anyway, the classes have a certain rhythm to them, always following the same ritual each class, it is definitely guided by Mariëtte, but in a very informal, inclusive way. Each child is free to participate or not in the actual activity, as long as they respect others of course, and Sprout actually spends most classes just observing, very still and quiet. Now, if you look at him in class, you may think I’m bonkers for paying for a class where I’M the one singing and dancing and he is more passive. However, he really is just learning and absorbing everything in class. When we play the cds at home or in the car (almost always – the whole family enjoys the music, it’s very good quality!) he sings, does the moves, tells Papa all about the songs and movements. it’s really hilarious. Here’s a little sample video, not the best though:

I can really see and feel how good this is for him, and he loves it. He says Din Dan tutu, which in Alex speak is Ding Dong music whenever we mention the class. He’s always asking to go dance with the babies. He also loves the instruments and other props which he would not have access to at home. The songs are great because you can change them around and adapt them. We’ve used the stick tune to get him to more easily transition to doing things: he sings “hey, hey” and we do “what do you say, let’s all take a bath/eat/go home, etc. today”. Perfect for avoiding end of day meltdowns. In fact, we love it so much, we’ve already registered for Spring term, starting in 2 weeks. Hopefully with all this early exposure, he won’t have the same hang ups as his parents and be convinced he can never be any good at music. And you know what? I think it’s helping me as well!

So really, all I want to say is that I really recommend this programme and if you’re in or around Brussels, there are still a few spots left for Spring term registration. Music is so good for little ones, if you don’t believe me, take a look at this. Plus, it’s good fun and a great way to bond. And no, I’m not getting anything out of saying this – I just really like the programme.

Hello again! Is it too late to say Happy New Year? I’ve been away from here for such a long time I wonder if anyone is out there to read this anymore.

Sprout and I spent all of November and most of December in Portugal. My Dad got worse so we went and then stayed on to help my Mom. It was nice to be with my parents, kind of like going home even though I haven’t lived there for almost 15 years. It was not easy with sprout in tow, but I’m glad to say my Dad is doing a bit better and my Mom is learning to cope with the new reality of taking care of him. She’s been so brave! I really admire her.
Anyway, I’ve been thinking about what to do with this space. I’m trying to limit my time on the computer around Sprout, and when he’s asleep there are tons of other things competing for my attention. Plus, I think about privacy issues with Sprout as well…
Anyway, I’m back, just not sure how often. There are tons of things I’d like to share from books to places to go with tots to crafting and schooling. We’ve started a toddler art group! So much fun for the little ones. I’ll be sure to share soon!